Are you spending way too much money on kids?

Are your kids’ piano lessons enriching their childhood, or eating into what could be their future savings—or worse, your own retirement?

Did you know that the typical household in my city (a Gyeonggi suburb of Seoul) spends 600 USD to 1000 USD a month per child on extracurricular activities? This is based on a highly scientific survey conducted by yours truly. I know this because I ask around every chance I get, because I’m also looking for places that can babysit educate my kids. I’ve also done scholarly-level research in the form of doom scrolling through the local mom discussion groups.

Granted, most families in my neighborhood only have one or two kids (I know of just three families with three kids in my little city, and I don’t know, or even know of, a single family with more than three kids in all of Korea. But still, 600 USD per kid is still a lot.

600 usually starts around age 5 and 6 and increases to upwards of 1000 starting in elementary school when the school day ends at 12:30 pm and parents scramble to fill their kids’ schedules with activities. This kind of expenditure continues until they graduate from high school, with most kids getting pulled out of the arts/athletics and turned towards academics and cram schools.

Why doesn’t she play piano?

People ask me all the time if my daughter is learning piano, and they’re often surprised to find out that she’s not. At least not yet. Every six-year-old in our building takes piano lessons. It’s just what you do when you enter elementary school here. I myself grew up playing four instruments: piano, viola, flute, and the saxophone in the US. I pursued the latter two, so it wasn’t exactly my parents being all tiger-ish, although I’m sure cultural expectations played some part in why I was drawn to learning instruments.

Did I excel at any single instrument? Nope! But I appreciate music, and I’m glad I had the experience. With that said, I can’t deny that my experience with musical instruments have proven to be the least practical and relevant to my life as an adult.

Enriching activities or enriching their future—what makes the most impact?

I often try to envision my children in twenty years. When they’re in their mid-twenties, will they be glad that we managed our family finances with a focus on living below our means and saving for our futures? Or will they resent me when they are unable to join a world-class orchestra because I didn’t sign them up for violin lessons at age five? My inkling is that it might be the former, but of course, I can’t be 100% certain.

I could spend about 150 USD more each month for piano lessons for my daughter, but what would that look like for her future if I invested it in ETFs now? Would the kids thank me for their down payment, or would they grow up feeling unaccomplished, or is this is just our collective privilege speaking?

Breaking down our kids’ extra-curricular activities

As we’ve recently decided to rein in our spending, here is a list of the extra-curriculars we quit in January, and the ones we’re continuing (all expenses are presented using the ratio 1,000 KRW to 1 USD for ease of understanding).

Extracurriculars we stopped in 2021

  • Fencing class for Boy +120 USD/month (one 60-min class per week)

    • For reasons I explained in my last blog post about giving up spending. TL;DR: He doesn’t like it despite his affinity for ambushing others. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • Musical performance class for Girl +170 USD/month (one 90-min class per week)

    • We cannot fit the commute into our work schedules this year. While it’s a nice chunk of savings, this is unfortunately one of her favorite extracurriculars.

  • Ballet class for Boy +100 USD/month (one 60-min class per week)

    • Boy has never been a big fan of ballet, but he begrudgingly attended because we go to ballet as a family on Saturdays. Girl will continue ballet on her own now that she needs to advance to the elementary school level.

Extracurriculars we will continue in 2022

  • Ballet classes for Girl -100 USD (25 USD/per 60-minute class)

    • For posture.

  • Art classes for Girl -100 USD (25 USD/per 60-minute class)

    • She loves it, and I love keeping the mess out of the house.

  • Gongbubang for Girl -180 USD (four 50-minute classes each week)

    • A gongbubang, or study room, is an academy in a private residence that help kids with basic school subjects like reading, writing, math. Ours include board games and coding. These comprehensive after-school programs are popular because elementary school finishes impossibly early for most caregivers.

  • In-kindergarten special activities class for Boy – 100 USD (daily 50-minute class)

    • Daily after-school classes at his kindergarten which includes gym/soccer, blocks, and art.

  • In-kindergarten English class for Boy -150 USD (daily 50-minute class)

    • These two back-to-back classes at his kindergarten allows Boy to arrive home at 4 pm. Otherwise, he would arrive home at 2 pm, which is when the regular kindergarten day ends.

In total, right now we spend 380 USD in extra-curriculars for our six-year-old, and 250 on our 4-year-old (this is in addition to his regular private kindergarten tuition, which is 170 USD per month, after universal subsidies. Public kindergartens in Korea are free). While we’re spending under the local average at the moment, we realize that this could change in the future when the kids develop preferences of their own. Until then, we’ve decided to 1) not sign kids up for activities they didn’t explicitly request and 2) prioritize sports if we decide to send them anywhere at all for the dual benefit of good health and tiring them out so they pass out early at night. 😆

So… how much are you spending on your kids’ activities every month? Not asking this question because that’s how they tell you to wrap up your posts in Blogging 101, but because I really, truly want to know where we stand, both locally and globally!


Posted

in

by

Tags: